i don't like sucking hair
Your mouth is God's brothel.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
