dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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