We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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