You work out of a Hotel?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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