I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
