its not stalking. its research.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
