how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Dick very happy bro
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