Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
