you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
