the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
