i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
