My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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