I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
