we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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