i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
