You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
