feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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