why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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