her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Randomize
