he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
