I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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