Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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