I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize