Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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