I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
