Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
