that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
