i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
