I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
