Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
