Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
