She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
