if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
