haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
