Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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