All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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