So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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