i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
and you fell through a lawn chair
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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