In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
