You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
