I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
