No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
