i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
