I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
