so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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