i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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