I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
