i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
