Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
