1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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